Trust!

I can only hope that i don't fail you. I only hope i don't get caught and twisted in my dreams and forget to snap back to reality. Its hasnt even been two weeks and I praying for you  like I have been praying for you forever. You bring change me. Change that I always wanted to feel, change i always wanted to be. Your smile soothes the pain I carry. I hope you become this person you always wanted to be...more importantly the life Gods wants for you. Your presence is a blessing and I cherish it every second. For a moment I could see my life in yours. the sad thing about is that I have no idea where  you see yours...where you thought you saw yours...

My heart and mind were in unison...until you showed up. Funny how things works. So now my heart and mind are fighting on what to do with all this feelings and emotions....first thought" I should just be angry at God for putting me in this position" Second thought" Girl you crazy...God is too real and just be patient and not take matters into your own hands"....Something my heart and mind is not good at. Why do things happen when we at least expect them too....could it be that we weren't expecting anything and thats why it happened..or we were suppose to expect something so that it didn't happen. Tricky question I know, but what good does it to  us to expect something if its not going to come when we want it...aren't we than setting ourselves for failure? But wait it a minute...is there something that is called  TRUST!......oh that word....right......If we do that..TRUST......

Trust in the lord and lead not into your own understanding......

Its hard I know....but is either we do that..or drive ourselves crazy! 

God is Love!

Doubt...good or bad.???

There is this overwhelming amount fear clouding over my head, clouding my eyes. I hate it. This year brings doubt. confusion...and perhaps the first steps to depression. I pause for a moment. Just what are those steps. I am still trying to figure out. Sometimes in life with doubt comes confusion or for some of mistakes and regrets.. do you see where this is going. Don't get it twisted, doubt doesnt always lead to negative things. Doubt also leads to freedom. why? ask yourself why doubt may lead into peace. self satisfaction. Sometimes in life we doubt the things. people, and situations  because we sense a bad vibe....so would that be good doubt?. In life however we sometimes doubt the wrong things....like Love for example. We doubt the ones who truly love us and when figure it out...its sometimes too late. We doubt ourselves when it comes to taking chances..well you get my point right..............Doubt it either can help us or lead us into more doubting...which leads to confusion..which leads into regrets...

Crazy Love!

Crazy Love!
Thats the title of the book that I have been reading. Since, I started college I haven't had much time to read the books I like. I mean don't get me wrong, I enjoy reading my psychology textbooks, but they aren't book  I would pick from a bookshelf!--for one they are too thick!
 I think they should say" don't judge a book by its cover, but by its thickness-- and the size of its font".

Who knew a small, simple book can change a person thinking perspective? even a life? I am not here to say that "Crazy love" has changed my life completely. I can that  crazy love is chaining my life super Significantly... can i say "super significantly? ". -----To be cont.....

I want to want----

Change.
Change is something I should be used to by now. It just seems all my life,  I had to adjust to change.
I am having trouble accepting change. I mean change is what I wanted.
I fing it hard to believe that my roommate have graduated and left to start a new life.
I find it hard it to believe that I am senior.
Honestly why do I feel the way i do? Its not like I didn't know that this was going to happen.
    Ha!- I guess things don't actually become a reality until they happen right?  I cant be the only person that feels and thinks this way.
Change!
At this moment change is not working for me.  I want my roommates back. I want the feeling of abandonment gone. I want the feeling of change to seem easy and effortless. I want to not feel like I did want the change to happen. I want to want to accept the changes that are happening in my life.
 Do I really have a choice?

I wish---

I wish I could feel the pain in your eyes, but that may be to much for the both us.
I wish I could tell you that tomorrow is going to be okay--unfortunately tomorrow is not promised.
I wish I could tell you why is this happening to you---I then think why not?
I wish I could change the past, but I we wouldn't be the same today, or would we?
I wish I could promise you more happiness--but who am I promise to the future?! God?
I wish I could be there with you every second of the way--but every second sounds like I would be a creep!
I wish I could  heal your pain--but I am too busy healing mine..


I wish you knew how much I loved you--I have a feeling that you already know..

If tomorrow comes---than it will just be the best of our lives.!